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Thanks, But We Have Other Plans

May 27th, 2010 at 10:41 am

We've had a huge flurry of invitations lately to parties of all kinds, like graduations, baptisms, birthdays, engagements, weddings, and dinner/dances. Some of them are from friends, but a lot are from family (mostly my husband's because his family is huge).

We can't afford to attend all of them. Some of them say things like, "Dressy/Cocktail Attire Please!" We don't have a wardrobe of dressy shoes and clothes to attend all these, and I don't want to show up in the same outfits every single time (like we have been). And I'd have to buy my son another pair of dressy shoes since he outgrew the old pair.

Then there are the gifts. Can't afford them!

I've also noticed that more and more often the invitations say to bring a dish to share which I used to think was a great idea. But getting a lot of invitations like that stresses me out because that is an added cost of attending the party too.

Then to get really picky, there is the cost of gas to get to and from the event.

We've resorted to saying, "Thanks, but we have other plans" to many of the events, and I can tell some people are feeling that we're just being rude or uncaring by not attending. It's so awkward and makes me feel awful.

5 Responses to “Thanks, But We Have Other Plans”

  1. gamecock43 Says:

    Thats a good excuse! I need to use that for bridal/baby showers. I hate going to those. And I love your blog colors!

  2. rob62521 Says:

    I can see your point and the gas thing is a good point as well. I wondered -- do they expect a gift and a dish to share for the potluck? If so, goodness, talk about wanting their cake and eating it too.

  3. PatientSaver Says:

    i don't blame you for not wanting to go to them all.

  4. wowitsawonderfullife Says:

    For the cost of a stamp you could send a really heart felt letter telling them how much they mean to you and how sorry you can't attend due to another committment. Sometimes a letter can make things a lot easier and personal.

  5. Jerry Says:

    I like the suggestion above about writing a letter... but of course it can be awkward if there isn't a TOTALLY pressing engagement that leads you to be unavailable. Still, I remember one summer that seemed replete with weddings, and we simply couldn't afford to go to all of them. Literally, we did not have enough money! We attended one for close friends on Nantucket, and it ended up counting as vacation, too, because there was nothing left at the end of the summer! Unlike several of the attendees, we aren't living off of a generous trust fund or annuity situation, so it was a stretch for us. I feel your pain. =/
    Jerry

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